Happy Fall! It’s that time again—a fresh start, new goals, and another chance to design the life you’ve always wanted.
If you’re like me, there’s something exciting about this moment. But there’s also something we all need to move from autopilot to true, intentional living.
Living on Default: Why We Feel Stuck
Most of us are living what I call the “default life.” We follow routines that society has handed us. We seek answers outside of ourselves—hoping that someone, somewhere, has a blueprint we can borrow.
We follow routines, live by other people’s expectations, and we think, “This is how life is supposed to be.” But deep down, we feel like we’re sleepwalking through it.
We’re not fully examining what we really want. We’re not looking inward.
Here’s the truth: The key to breaking out of that default mode? It’s something simple but so powerful.
It’s willingness.
Intentionally nurturing this single feeling is a game changer. It can can open doors to the life you’ve been dreaming of.
Now, let me explain what I mean by willingness.
What is Purposeful Willingness?
Willingness means being prepared to take action. It’s a quiet but powerful readiness—a decision to engage with life rather than just go through the motions.
It’s an invitation to live with clarity, purpose, and—most importantly—agency. Because here’s the thing: Willingness = Agency.
When you’re willing, you’re in charge. You’re the one shaping your life.
It’s not about doing whatever’s in front of you. It’s about facing your life head-on and making choices that truly matter to you. It’s about doing the things that light you up—even if they’re hard.
Let me give you an example. Purposeful willingness means:
Being willing to ask yourself, “What do I really want?”
Being willing to listen to the answer—even when it’s uncomfortable.
Being willing to make the decisions that align with your deepest values and goals.
It’s about finding your purpose and pursuing meaningful goals—not what others say you should want, but what you want.
Maybe you want to:
Take that audition for your dream job.
Launch your own creative project, like starting a concert series or recording an album.
Or maybe you want to pivot to a completely different career that truly reflects who you are.
Whatever your dreams are, purposeful willingness is about saying, “Yes, I’m ready to do the hard things that matter most.”
The Power of Willingness
Here’s something we often forget: Everyone wants success, but not everyone is willing to do what it takes. The road to success is paved with tough choices, sacrifices, and moments of discomfort.
Willingness is the readiness to:
Do the work that matters most to you.
Face discomfort and fear head-on, knowing that growth is on the other side.
Search for solutions when obstacles inevitably show up.
Make sacrifices for the long-term vision you hold for yourself.
This is where willingness becomes empowering: it gives you agency. You stop saying, “I have to,” and start saying, “I choose to,” because you know that you’re in control of your path. You are the creator of your life.
Let’s take an example:
A musician preparing for a major audition—willing to invest countless hours in practice, face rejection, and persist through uncertainty.
An Olympian who trains for years—willing to sacrifice comfort, time, and even social life to reach their dream.
Or a person launching a business or pursuing a passion project—willing to show up every day, even when the outcome feels uncertain.
Willingness is about saying, “I want this. I choose this.”
And owning it.
Willingness and Boundaries: Protecting What Matters
Here’s something important: Willingness isn’t just about doing. It’s also about not doing.
It’s about knowing when to protect yourself and set boundaries that preserve your energy, your mental health, and your emotional well-being.
You need to be willing to set boundaries that allow you to thrive long term, not just in the short term.
Willingness means being open to figuring out how to succeed in a way that’s sustainable:
Work hard but work smart—invest your energy in the right things.
Work in alignment—make sure your efforts are aligned with your true purpose.
Work with intention—so that your energy is spent wisely.
Think about this: you’re not just chasing quick wins. You’re laying the foundation for a life that feels right, inside and out.
Examples? Think of:
Simone Biles stepping back from the Olympics to protect her mental health.
Hilary Hahn, taking time off to recover from injury, valuing long-term health over short-term gains.
Or maybe it’s quitting a job or a situation that no longer aligns with your values.
Willingness is about saying “no” when it’s the right thing to do for your well-being.
Why We’re Not Always Willing
Here’s the truth: Sometimes we’re just not willing.
And that’s okay.
Let’s unpack why.
We don’t actually want the result. We think we should want it—because society says so, or it’s the “right” thing to do—but deep down, we’re not willing to go all in.
We don’t want it enough. The price—the effort, the discomfort, the growth—feels too steep, and we’re not ready to pay it.
We want the result, but our mind gets in the way. We doubt ourselves. We tell ourselves stories that create fear: “It’s never going to happen, even if I try.” And this belief becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
This is where fear of failure causes us to fail before we’ve even begun. We’re not willing to go after our dreams because we don’t believe they’re possible.
But this is where coaching comes in. As a coach, I help my clients question these stories—to unpack the beliefs that hold them back, and to reframe their thinking.
My coaches did the same for me, helping me accomplish things I never thought were possible.
Cultivate Willingness in Your Life: A Simple Practice
One of the most powerful ways to move forward in life is by reconnecting with moments when you felt truly willing to do whatever it took to succeed. By reflecting on those moments, you can tap into the same determination and apply it to your current goals.
Try this simple exercise:
1. Reflect on a Past Success:
Think back to a time in your life when you were fully committed to achieving something—when you felt determined to do whatever it took.
Ask yourself: What was the goal? What made me so determined? What was I thinking and feeling that drove me to succeed?
2. Apply it to Your Present:
Now, consider something you want to achieve today. It could be a personal goal, career milestone, or a new project.
Ask yourself: What would I need to feel, think, or believe to generate that same level of determination and willingness?
By revisiting moments of past success and connecting them to your current aspirations, you can cultivate the mindset needed to take meaningful action today.
Conclusion: Willingness is a powerful way to shape your year and move your life forward.
So here’s what I want you to remember: Willingness can be the hidden key to a flourishing year and a flourishing life.
It’s about making conscious, intentional choices—facing discomfort, setting boundaries, and believing in what’s possible for you.
Remember this: Your willingness to show up, put in the effort, and take care of yourself is what will lead to meaningful growth and success this year.
And believe me—you’ve got this.
If you'd like to hear more about this topic and dive deeper into it, listen to episode 204 of the Mind Over Finger Podcast.
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